I feel so down now, ya down down down. I'd really like to know why I will never become his first priority. What do I really mean to him, girlfriend? What a joke, perhaps I'm just a companion to him afterall. Brothers and friends = FIRST priority, forever. Yes, its FOREVER. If I knew this would be coming, I rather I did not start from the beginning. Being friends might be better. At least we don't suffer from heartbreak after quarreling, we don't quarrel over such sensitive small matter and I won't miss you that much, even if I'd like you, I wont. But its too late to say this, I can't let go.

After 4 months, I find that he doesn't know me well enough. Hello, its 4 months, not 4 days. I don't know why I deserve to be treated like this. Maybe everything started cause of me but.. am I really that unreasonable? Seriously if he doesn't does anything wrong, do you think I will bother to quarrel with him? No wait, yes, I'm unreasonable. Very, extremely unreasonable. He's not in the wrong, I am always in the wrong. For blaming him and everything! Everything which is bad was caused by me. Hell yeah. Everytime we quarrel, it was started by me, yeah yeah, I'm unreasonable. I like to throw tantrums, yeah yeah, I'm soooooooooooo unreasonable. I like to show attitude, yeah yeah, I'm so so so so so so so extremely unreasonable. Eh bullshit.. You're ridiculous.

Its raining. "Oh I love the rain, go home? No way. I'm feeling so happy to the maximum." Cause of you, I can walk under the rain, but you cant do it for me. Woahness. Ha-ha. Don't promise what you are able to fulfill, even if you're willing to try, don't bother to. I don't like false hope. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, too bad.. Its been 1 hour, I'm waiting for your call and your text. So this is how you treat your girlfriend. I had finally realized, thank you so much.